We have all heard the horror stories about our beauty products, how we are slowly poisoning ourselves with chemicals and what-not. I never really bothered worrying about it until recently when I read an article, which was probably more fear mongering with a headline than actual truth, about how the chemicals in the world around us can shrink a womans ovaries. Wait, what?
I love smelly stuff and I love animals so imagine how excited I was when I found something that gave me the best of both worlds. I was introduced to Vegan Cuts by Jennifer from a Vintage Vanity and I was not disappointed with what I got.
I stood looking in the mirror this morning and I found another grey hair in the middle of my brown locks. It was depressing but it’s only part of the problem. As I looked harder I saw something else, I saw someone who had lost their identity during years of stress. I have lost what defines me as me. I didn’t have time to dwell on it, I threw a hat on and left the house to take the kiddies out for the day. While I had the three year old at the play area I saw other mums there who had their glad-rags on with a full face of make-up, and I looked like a tramp in comparison. I was showered, clean clothes, some make-up, but I lacked something. Something was missing. Was it my clothes? Is my make-up style not fitting with what I was wearing? Jeans, trainers and a hoodie can be an alright combo depending on the style of all three, but I was wearing my hubby-to-be’s grey furry jacket over the top of it all and a hat that looks like a tea cosy. Trust me, it wasn’t a good look. I looked like I had dressed in the dark in other people’s cast-offs. I have no style.
This problem also rings true with this blog. Recently I done a post about my friend Gemma and her blog which you can find here http://deathofaspinster.blogspot.co.uk/, and not long after I posted it, Gemma wanted a chit-chat. First off she called me a rascal for not telling her about the blog, and then suggested that I give myself a bit more credit and share it with more people. That’s all well and good, Gemma has a theme for her blog, I don’t. Random ramblings about stuff isn’t good enough. I’ve been all over the place with it and haven’t wanted to share it until I got something decent going on. Sure, I started it to practise my writing but it has got more attention than I ever dreamed so it’s needs an overhaul too.
Tonight I sat and had a think about what I needed to do. This isn’t just about style, it’s about identity. I done a post about that too a while back called “Howard Stern has Titties”, if you haven’t read it then you really should because what I am about to say will not make sense otherwise. Someone’s identity can be like a set of boobs, there are times they are awesome and other times they suck. Identity changes as our life changes, just like boobies. If my identity was a set of boobies, what I would be looking at is a saggy, sad looking former funbags with nipples that look like ear-plugs. That was not a pleasant picture I just painted but it’s true. I was busy with other things and my identity went down the toilet as a result. Now it’s time to reclaim it, stick it back together with some duct tape and glitter, and hope that no-one noticed that my identity and style were as rough as a badgers arse. By why stop there? I can change my appearance, my lifestyle, and my blog. I will still be me just with a nicer hair and no monobrow.
So the new format for the blog is-
Monday- Beauty post. I may as well keep everyone up to date with what I am using while I polish my style and buttocks.
Tuesday- Fitness and health. I’m getting fat……there will be pictures…..grab a bucket….it will be nasty!
Wednesday- Pet post. I have three dogs, two fish tanks, two kids….wait? It’s bad taste to include the kids in a pet post? Alright then…..
Thursday- Politics. It’s been my thing the last while so I’ll keep doing it.
Friday- Parenting post. Two kids, need I say more?
Saturday/Sunday- Weekend review of anything events, bars, outings etc. What? I’m not allowed to go out now?
I may change it in the future but for now this is the plan for now. I may be getting in there a bit late for a New Year overhaul but it’s never too late to want to change.
Like most females, I like to look my best but in a world were the standard of beauty and fashion changes as quickly as a hooker can remove her knickers, it leaves people like me with whiplash trying to keep up. It’s not helped with the amount of selfies we see online of our friends who seem to roll out of bed looking like they have stepped out of a magazine. And then there is that bitch in the office who strolls around the place in high heels looking like a model while claiming that it only takes her an hour to get ready. Yeah, right, and where did you get the magic clock that slows down time so that you can achieve that? No really, I need one to help me get through the mountain of ironing and have a bath in peace.
I think it’s time I at least tried to look presentable…
When it comes to our appearance, everyone likes to look good but is it necessary to spend a fortune on beauty products to get the look we want? Seeing as I was trying to up-date my look I thought I would give some of the products from the Pound Shop a go. I was surprised by the selection of goodies that were available for just a pound each, but are they any good? I decided to start with the Creightons “Squeeky Clean” range of products to break me into a new beauty routine. The pink packaging was nice and girly with a vintage picture on most of the products but it reminded me too much of Soap and Glory products, which was probably the point.
Just some of the range
Not wanting to miss anything, I choose to get one of everything that the shop had in stock. Shower gel, body lotion, face scrub, face moisturiser, and face mask. Not too bad, five items for a fiver. There are other items in the range but this was all that the shop had in stock at the time. But the question is, will they work? Can these cheap items hold their own against the more expensive brands? I once got a sample of a Gucci foundation which retails at £50 a bottle and I swear, I looked like my face had been photoshopped. It was that good. So, with this in mind I don’t have a great deal of faith in these products. That might seem unfair but I was prepared to give them a fair chance in the hope that I would find some amazing new thing that only cost me a pound.
First up was the face mask. The instructions said to apply to your face and leave for ten minutes before washing it off. Easy enough then. But after 2 minutes of applying this white gloop to my face, it started to burn. Not “oh, my pores are getting a good clear out” tingle, more like a “OH GOD! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!” sort of feeling. Now keep in mind the fact that I don’t have sensitive skin but I couldn’t even last 5 minutes with it on me before I was dunking my face in the sink to remove it. It felt so bad I was worried that I was burnt down to my bare skull. Luck was on my side as my face wasn’t left too red but a couple of shades darker and I could have been confused for someone who just received an acid face peel.
Isn’t that just so sexy? Actually don’t answer that….
I jumped my bum into the shower to make sure my face was completely clear of the face mask/acid plaster and decided to try out the shower gel. This stuff wasn’t too bad. It had a nice lather and I felt clean afterwards, but the scent wasn’t very strong and didn’t last. The same could be said for the body moisturiser. The scent was barely noticeable but it did leave my skin feeling soft. Both these bottles were good sized so you get plenty of product for your pound.
I left it a few days before I dared try the face cream and scrub. I did not want to risk burning my face off completely after the face mask. The scrub was very rough and the grains felt too big for a face scrub, so I used it on my knees instead where it worked a treat. The face moisturiser was just as good as the body moisturiser. My skin was left soft and it dried in quickly, meaning I was able to move on to my make-up without having to wait about all day for tackiness to fade. The lack of smell meant my hubby-to-be was happy to use it on his own face after shaving.
All in all, these products were very hit and miss. I hated the face mask and the face scrub but the shower gel, body moisturiser and face cream get top marks. They aren’t fancy and there are no skin tightening or youth reclaiming magic in them but they do the job as basic products and wouldn’t look out of place in any girls bathroom.
Latte Lindsay 